She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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