AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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