yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You took a bar mat shot.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
