The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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