He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Welp...herpes.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
