and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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