i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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