I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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