yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Quick, to the slutcave!
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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