If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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