What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
