can u get pink eye on your cock?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
