from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
