My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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