girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
