Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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