i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You smell like stripper and shame
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
