He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
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