And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
