I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
