I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
