Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
