It's just like the Real World with babies
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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