The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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