I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
