that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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