I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize