he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
