I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
