roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
