I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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