Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
