it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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