It's like God shit irony all over that family
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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