honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
