im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize