The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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