I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
