Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
