I am full of burrito and curiosity
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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