Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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