Its about making memories worth repressing
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
