she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
