Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
