how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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