Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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