it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
