I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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