sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
