if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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