take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
There are leaves in my underwear?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
