I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
