Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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