If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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