Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize