I'm eating all of the evidence.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
