Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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