piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
