it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
