So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
