I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
