I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
