sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
