i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
